Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oh 1980s, how you happened!

Coming of age in the suburbs of New Jersey in the 80's was to be caught in a pop-cultural eddy while the rest of the world whooshed along. Alerting us to the outside world were the bad kids and their M.O.D. and Anthrax tapes, blaring from the back seat of the school bus at 7:15am. Early Nickelodeon presented Canada through the unforgiving lens of You Can't Do That On Television and our audacious contempt for those dorky cast members, never seemed ironic. I dreamt about owning suede Pumas but stitched leather LEE jean patches on the tongues of my TRAX sneakers bought at Caldor or Bradlees instead.

It's certainly not the Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man, but if anything, it proves to me that no matter the style or substance, people are driven to make things for seemingly no other reason than for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Who knows what 15 might have been like in Oslo, or Prague, or Rio, or Phuket? Fortunately (or otherwise) we have a record of my subjective creations, drawn from the experiences of a relatively sheltered white kid whose dad recorded the theme to the TV show TAXI. It's taken a long time to square myself with this cosmic dorkiness.

While everyone else that I now know was out skateboarding, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, gettin' lucky, listening to Zeppelin, The Dead Kennedys or Metallica, I chose to repair to the sanctuary of my stusstudio, where my machines understood me:

- IBM 5150 PC with amber Amdek monitor and MPU-401 midi interface, graciously given to me as a birthday gift from my idol at the time, Mr. Bob James, author of the TAXI theme. Running on this computer was a not-so-official version of Roger Powell's TEXTURE program, no doubt coded in assembly language. A far cry from Ableton Live or ProTools.
- Yamaha DX7 with E! Grey Matter Response modification which worked most of the time.
- Yamaha DX100 synthesizer. It was when I got this synth that I learned that the higher the model number was, the more limited and lamer the unit. The DX7 had full size keys and velocity sensitivity, while the DX100 had mini Casio-size keys and no velocity sensitivity. *sigh*
- Yamaha RX15 Drum Computer. Not as cool as the RX11 or at the time, the ultimate, RX5!
- All running through the Yamaha DMP7, a digital mixer that a friend of my pops who worked for Yamaha let me borrow and try out. This particular friend would bring lots of cool gizmos by the house for both me and my dad to fiddle with.

Set the wayback machine to the late 1980s... Ollie North, Tomkins Square Park Riots, Chet Baker, Heather O'Rourke and Andy Gibb leave this dimension, Sonny Bono is elected Mayor of Palm Springs, The Pixies' Surfer Rosa and NKOTB Hangin' Tough records come out...

If music made by a lanky pimply guy wearing black leather reeboks, shiny houndstooth pants, big red glasses, and an oversized pink oxford shirt with repeating geometric emblems sounds like a party to you, then shotgun these:

Bwoline
Uncertainty
Pastelve
Monmouth Mall Romance
Springtime From My Bedroom
Junkyfunk


Maybe it's because Obama is President and it's finally cool to care again, or that I'm in my mid-30s and am able to see the path of my life from a much different vantage point. Whatever the case may be, it's a good thing to own the past - it helps the future.

I've heard the age of Obama as being described as Post-Irony. I'm down. The irony that I cultivated in the 90s and the Oughts damn near killed my ability to love.


Love,
MJ

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Coming in March: Pronto - All Is Golden


It's actually happening.

The Pronto record is being released March 10th on Contraphonic Records out of Chicago.

We will be playing some shows on the east coast in March.

The finer points of the forthcoming Pronto website are being torqued and tweaked, but tune in to www.prontosphere.com for updates and the eventual launch of the new site.

Happy New Year,

Mikael

Monday, November 10, 2008

Obama victory party in the streets, Fort Greene Style!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Obama Victory Fort Greene Brooklyn New York

Earlier in the day on November 4th:

Monday, October 13, 2008

Grace Jones' Toilet, Electric Picnic Festival, Stradbally Estate, Ireland

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Prepackaged Fruit/Vegetable

Tai Nam Food Market, Chicago, IL

Friday, September 12, 2008

Monday, August 4th 2008, Chicago

Spokane

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Henry Butler at the Mangy Moose Saloon, Jackson Hole, WY

Mindblowing.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Mr. Splashypants?

The Home of Sleeping Sea Lions

Sleeping Sea Lions

Ressurrection Bay Islands 1

Holgate Glacier

Friday, July 25, 2008

Rocks for sale

Near Marfa, TX

Balmorrhea, TX

Hairy Barry

Smirking

Anchorage, AK

Lamp posts, Fairbanks, AK

Midday in Fairbanks, AK

Fairbanks, AK

Bags O' Skulls

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Tractor on Parade

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Happy America

Monday, June 23, 2008

Venom live at City Gardens, Trenton, NJ. No Songs...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Beamz

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Judd

Dancin' in Flavin at Chinati

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Why I love New York

Found at Atlantic Terminal Q train station:

Friday, May 02, 2008

Indian Baby Dropping Ritual

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Mario!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Paris street art

I want to meet the person responsible for this

GARB

I stumbled across this scan of a flyer that I found in Memphis while
on tour with Rebecca Gates:

A bit of fun part 3

And so....

Hon Jeffry Smith,

I've contacted Western Union and they inform me that the transaction has successfully been processed. I've provided you with the information they supplied to me and now I urgently advise you to comply with my demand to release my sooty ol' pal, Reynold.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Reynold and I would, every chance we could. The late nights of drinking beer and smoking joints on the airboat... Listening to the alligators while the moon would shine so bright that you wouldn't need your headlamps or flashlights. Reynold and I would be overtaken with the grandeur of our situation that we'd converse for hours until the birds started chirping at the first blue light of dawn...

Please hurry...

I remain,

Mike Jorgensen
Lake Okeechobee, Airboat #41
Florida, America, USA, World

More of the same from them:

U.S. Department of State
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Washington , DC 20520
Greeting from USA Embassy,
THIS MAIL IS ONLY FOR THE OWNER OF THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS
Attention: SIR Mike Jorgensen,

Please send the Western Union reciepts with ,text questions and answer and other informations needed to receive the money.
Please treat this as matter of urgency .
Note that any uncliamed consignment will be returned to FedEx Xpress courier company ltd after 3 days of this notice.
So you are urgently advised to comply with our demands so that we will release your consignment.
Hon Jeffry Smith.
Public Relation Officer United State Embassy.
FROM UNITED STATE EMBASSY.

__________________________________________________

Todavía no tenés tu Ubbi Mail? Obtenelo ahora! - http://mail.ubbi.com

Descargá Gratis el nuevo Internet Explorer 6.0, el mejor software para actualizar tu PC. Hacé click acá.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A bit of fun part 2

Success! A Reply!


From: unitedamericaembassy_usa@ubbi.com
Date: April 23, 2008 6:36:29 AM EDT
To: mike@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Public Relation Officer United State Embassy.Urgent
Reply-To:
unitedamericaembassy_usa@ubbi.com











U.S. Department of State

Bureau of Consular Affairs

Washington , DC 20520

Greeting from USA Embassy,

THIS MAIL IS ONLY FOR THE OWNER OF THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS

Attention: SIR Mike Jorgensen,

Please send the Western Union reciepts with ,text questions and answer and other informations needed to receive the money.

Please treat this as matter of urgency .

Note that any uncliamed consignment will be returned to FedEx Xpress courier company ltd after 3 days of this notice.

So you are urgently advised to comply with our demands so that we will release your consignment.







Hon Jeffry Smith.

Public Relation Officer United State Embassy.

FROM UNITED STATE EMBASSY.

__________________________________________________

Todavía no tenés tu Ubbi Mail? Obtenelo ahora! - http://mail.ubbi.com

Descargá Gratis el nuevo Internet Explorer 6.0, el mejor software para actualizar tu PC. Hacé click acá.


And then I wrote:


Hon Jeffry Smith,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. It will be a joyous day when I am reunited with the deliciously dusty remains of my cremated pet armadillo, Reynold.


I've received your instructions and here is the information you require:

Receivers............. ...Name:Mr. David Williams Abudi Chiro
City..........................Cotonou
Country ....................Benin
System......................Hoth
Code..........................229
Preference................Goatse
Test ..........................Question: Are you the right owner
Answer ...................Yes
Test 2........................Two girls
Answer......................One cup
Amount....................$210.00
Control Number: 8675309EIEIN

Delivery Address:

Mike Jorgensen
c/o www.SexyArmadillos.com
Lake Okeechobee, Shack #18
Florida, America, USA, World
I look forward to hearing from you.

I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A bit of fun.

So, this showed up in my inbox today:



U.S. Department of State
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Washington , DC 20520
Greeting from USA Embassy,

THIS MAIL IS ONLY FOR THE OWNER OF THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS

Attention: Friend,

This is to notify you that your package has been in our custody waiting for your comply before the delivery will be effected to your delivery address. We have been waiting for you to contact us regarding your package that FedEx Express suppose to deliver to your address which was put on hold by US Department of State Bureau requesting for clearance certificate which will be obtained from the origination country of the package before it will be released/subsequent delivery to your home address.

After the meeting held by our board of director which was concluded that the delivery of your consignment to your address must be completed within three working days upon your comply to our requirements which is by sending the sum of $210.00 to enable us obtain the needed certificate and effect the delivery of your package immediately.

Note that your package has been arrived in US embassy and waiting to receive clearance certificate before the gate pass is given.

Meanwhile, you are adviced to reconfirm the below information upon
contacting us to avoid delivery to wrong person.
=================================================
Full name........................
address: ..........................
Phone: ...........................
==============================================
Once you notify us with the above information we will release/deliver your consignment to you.

You can contact us on the contact name and e-mail address below,
Contact person, Hon Jeffry Smith
EMAIL: unitedamericaembassy_usa@ubbi.com

Note that you are expected to pay only $210.00 for clearance certificate and you are to pay it to Benin Republic as the origination country of the consignment box in favour of MR DAVID WILLIAMS ABUDI as our accountant officer in Benin Republic.

Send the $210.00 through western union or Money Gram once you receive this mail with the information below for immediate release/delivery of your package.

Receivers............. ...Name:Mr. David Williams Abudi Chiro
City..........................Cotonou
Country ....................Benin
Code..........................229
Test ..........................Question: Are you the right owner
Answer ...................Yes
Amount....................$210.00

Once you send the money, try to notify us through e-mail with the MTCN for easy pick up by our accountant in Benin Republic and for immediate action on the release/delivery of your package.

Please treat this as matter of urgency .

Note that any uncliamed consignment will be returned to FedEx Xpress courier company ltd after 3 days of this notice.

So you are urgently advised to comply with our demands so that we will release your consignment.


Hon Jeffry Smith.
Public Relation Officer United State Embassy.
FROM UNITED STATE EMBASSY.




So, as you can tell, this is really serious business, I replied almost immediately to ensure that this situation could be addressed appropriately:



Hon Jeffry Smith,

Thank you so much for your email. I have been waiting for this package as it contains the ashes of my dearest, and dead pet armadillo, Reynold.

I have sent the $210.00 via Western Union to:

Hon Jeffry Smith
US Dept of State
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Washington, DC 20520

Please let me know when you receive the money. I have sorely missed my Reynold & intend to sprinkle some of his ashes on my front lawn as well as use some in my famous lemon chicken with ashed armadillo and basil risotto that has the critics raving! It has been a long time since I've seen or tasted him. There was an incident on our vacation to Benin last winter which, to make a long story short, required me to kill poor Reynold so that the militants (they were _so_ pissed that we crashed their party) would respect & honor me, and thereby released me back to my beloved swampy home. After I gained their trust and admiration, they ensured me that they would cremate him and send the remains back to me.

I am so elated that these seemingly volatile men have made good on their promise and my reunion with Reynold is lip-smackingly near!


The address to send the package is:

Mike Jorgensen
Lake Okeechobee
Florida, America, USA

Kindest regards

Mike Jorgensen



Stay tuned to see what happens, if anything...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Zach Galifianakis interviews Michael Cera

Sunday, April 13, 2008

My Lexus headlamp collection remains incomplete

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Vacuums in Fitzroy

Mr. Thank You

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Giant White Glove

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Superstition live on Sesame Street

The Alligator King

Ladybug's Picnic

Computer Realities

AFSCME - The union that works for you!

Matrix Ping Pong

Mrs. Peachez Fry That Chicken

Monday, February 25, 2008

Marie Osmond

Frodo 'parrently